Alison Flamm, Sister of Honor
Alison is Joanna’s sister (Ali might be taller, but Joanna is older). Ali lives and works in NYC, and Joanna loves having her sister within a 40 minute subway ride. Joanna and Ali sound so similar that people often ask if they’re twins, which is ridiculous, because they have different hair. Ali lived in Nanjing, China for a year and was kind enough to babysit Joanna and Matt on their visit there, during which they were allowed to do precisely one thing on their own (buy groceries) and managed to screw it up. She is very patient.
Kate Knutson, Lady of Honor
Kate is Joanna’s best friend from middle school. In 7th grade, they wore matching overalls during Spirit Week and shared a crush on a boy who turned out to be gay. Junior year of high school, Kate called Joanna on a Sunday and said, “What do you think of Matt Healy?” When Matt hadn’t asked Joanna out within 48 hours, Kate told him to hurry up so that Joanna would start eating again. 10 years later, Kate has received her Masters of Theological Studies from Vanderbilt University, where her concentration was her own divine powers of matchmaking.
Stephen Haswell Todd, Gentleman of Honor
Joanna and Stephen have known each other since their moms met in Early Childhood Education classes. Stephen appears in the only extant home video of the Flamm sisters’ youth, in which he and Joanna can be heard singing a rousing rendition of “I’m Being Swallowed By A Boa Constrictor”. When Stephen couldn’t attend a party in high school, he made Joanna a puppet version of himself, bow tie included. Puppet Stephen has since moved with Joanna across the country and through several dorm rooms and apartments. Real Stephen remains in Chicago, where he filled his crisper drawer with dirt because Joanna heard it was a good way to store root vegetables.
Ben Healy, Brother of Honor
Ben is Matt’s brother. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife Atsuko, and teaches budding rock stars and jazz cats both young and old to play the piano. Matt has taken a few lessons from Ben as well, and once distinguished himself in a recital at Ben and Atsuko’s home, where he brought the average age of the performers up by a good five years. Living in New York together allows Ben and Matt to go on frequent bro dates, including bro-nches, bro-wling and bro-vies (sorry, that last one was weak).
Randy Phillips, Gentleman of Honor
Randy and Matt met on the baseball diamond, as little league teammates in Langford Park. From there, they both went on to illustrious sporting careers that carried them well into their adult lives. Just kidding, they spent most of their teenage years playing cards and eating Totino’s Pizza Rolls in their friends’ basements. Despite this busy social calendar, however, Randy found time in high school to co-star with Joanna and Matt in several dramatic productions at Highland Park and at the Illusion Theater in Minneapolis. In later years, the trio also collaborated on an epic and arduous Legomation project entitled Ye Olde Pirate Show, whose views on YouTube number in the tens.
Rafi Samuels-Schwartz, Gentleman of Honor
Between hours spent in the practice room perfecting Weezer covers with their high school band, months spent living together in the extremely close quarters of a UW-Madison dorm room, and many Sundays spent in Brooklyn following up brunch with ill-advised root beer floats, Matt had to do a bit of math to make sure he’s actually spent more time with Joanna than Rafi. Looks like the numbers work out right, but it was a close call. High points in Rafi and Matt’s friendship include talking their high school advisors into allowing them an “independent study” senior year, much of which time they spent rummaging for Prince records at neighborhood estate sales.
